This morning I begrudgingly went to the mall to look around for some Christmas presents for the kids. Begrudgingly because I really hate malls and I really hate taking Chloe shopping. It’s not fair to her to be dragged around and it’s doubly unfair for the store clerks who have to smell her soon-to-be soiled diaper and to wrestle whatever toy she intends to run screaming from the store clutching without paying for.
I brought the van to the mall because it’s my only vehicle. It’s dirty right now. So dirty in fact, a man approached me and asked, “Where did you come from?” I’m not sure what he meant but I think he was asking did I drive through a muddy desert or did the car wash this morning accidently throw all the crud they had been scraping off cars and spray it with glue back onto mine? The only response I could think of was, “I’m from out of town.” Dirty Town I think he mumbled as he shrugged and ran ahead to catch up to his speed-walking team.
I happened to catch a glimpse of a woman who clearly did not have kids. You know when you see someone and you think, they might have older kids who are in school or, they might have kids who are with a babysitter or visiting with Grandma while they get a few minutes to shop or people who are Grandparents themselves and look at your children adoringly remembering like yesterday the day they took their dirty mini-van to the mall with their children.
But then there are those people who don’t have children and likely don’t ever want to.
I could tell what this woman was thinking…..
If I had a two year old, I would NOT take her to the mall.
I would certainly NOT allow them to poop in their diaper the second they walked into Chapters and continue shopping without changing their diaper.
I WOULD remember to bring a diaper into Chapters instead of waiting in line to pay for books (buy 3 get the 4th free) before taking my two year old out to my van—a van that looks like chocolate icing has been spread and set on the paint and change the baby there.
I would NOT change the baby while standing in the back seat of the van and smear some of the poop on the baby’s winter coat.
If I did accidentally smear poop on her coat, I would have a better back-up than her light spring rain-jacket, two sizes too small.
I would NOT allow my two year old to wear a bathing cap as a replacement for a warm winter hat when it’s 2 degrees outside.
If my two year old darted away from the dirty mini-van the second she had an opportunity to escape I would NOT dance in the middle of a mall parking lot when the baby yelled, “Dance Monkey! Shake it up!” for fear the baby would run into oncoming traffic. Further, I would NEVER open a box of raisins in an attempt to lure the child back to my dirty vehicle. There are far too many studies suggesting bribing kids with food can lead to eating disorders and an unhealthy body image in their teens.
All that from one look but that’s how powerful this exchange was.
Then a woman, a mother, probably of three kids, two in school, one being dragged around running errands before racing home for lunch and naptime smiled and nodded. Sigh. A simple gesture of kindness was all I needed to take a deep breath and continue our journey.
I think she even mouthed something but I couldn’t quite make it out.
It was either “Lowenstein….Lowenstein…..Lowenstein…” or, “I like your van.”
