Our school offers no shortage of theme days.

Our most popular this year has been, “Snow Day!’ where nobody comes to school followed closely by “Power Failure Day!” We have had a number of “Your Bus Can’t Service The Route Day!” which means the school is also closed and sometimes on a clear, sunny morning with a warm breeze, birds singing, kids skipping, we receive a notice that the school is closed with little explanation and we back into our houses and wait for our tvs to overheat and/or explode.

This week, in addition to a couple of other theme days, we have on the school calendar, Twin/Triplet Day.

I asked the girls about it assuming this is meant to be a fun day where you and a buddy dress like each other and after a short ceremony, you are bonded for life.

What about the kids who don’t have a buddy? Won’t they feel left out? Won’t it be painfully obvious when everyone else is wandering around as a mirror image of someone and they are still just ‘Big Tuna’?

I guess that’s why they added the triplet option, should anyone get left out, they could affix themselves to a set of twins and twin/triplet day would end in success. It’s like they thought of everything.

I think when we had days like this, there was a simple conversation the day before, “Hey Crystal, do you want to be my twin? Great! Crimp your hair and wear a white shirt and jeans,” because everyone has a white shirt and jeans.”

We know this because every family the world over has a picture of their crew posing on a bed of strategically placed autumn leaves inside a photo studio in the summer, wearing white shirts and jeans.

But it’s 2013 and like everything else, we’ve upped the ante, even for twin/triplet day. For starters we added the triplet option.

Ellie told me about two weeks ago, she and two friends were planning to be triplets and asked me to buy them all matching shirts.

Um, no. I think we can all agree twin/triplet day was created in the spirit of ‘friendship shouldn’t cost me anything.’

Sadly, the next day, Ellie informed me that one of her pinky-swear, committed, triplet partners had gone rogue. She had been shopping with her mother and purchased two matching shirts only for twin day.

Oh dear.

Ellie was instantly tossed from the trifecta but was surprisingly okay with it and no, I don’t blame the other mother for only buying two shirts because buying three would have made her nuts and there just aren’t enough days to celebrate, “My Mother Went Nuts Day.”

In a move driven entirely by panic, Ellie latched onto the first child within earshot and asked if she would be her twin.

So far so good. Twin/Triplet Day is stress-free and still a week away.

The little girl agreed but Ellie would have to buy the shirts.


Off we went to the Old Navy clearance rack to purchase two of the cheapest shirts I could find. They are an offensive yellow with a picture of kittens wearing sunglasses with the caption, “Check Meow-t” which might end up in the “These shirts objectify women and are banned from school day!” pile but I’m hoping they make it at least until lunch when school will be closed due to a window being stuck or a citrus odour nobody wants to risk exploring.

Ellie proudly handed off the shirt to her new bestie whose name escapes me (and Ellie too) who may or may not remember to wear it on twin/triplet day should she get a better offer or take the advice of her mother and just wear a white shirt and jeans because she would almost certainly look like somebody.

Life was much simpler with the crimping iron.