Yesterday morning, I was on my way out the door, heading to my first swimming lesson of the new session.

I would have jumped at any excuse not to go; dust bunnies blocking the exits, we’re out of coriander, adding the leaves in the dining room table. I had nothing.

Once I decided I was committed to going, nothing could stand in my way.

Not even Greg shouting, “Hey, will you buy a fake owl today? They’re on sale.”

Nothing.

But a couple of things about this request had me puzzled.

The first was what size of owl? Owl size or figurine?

Secondly, the fact that they’re on sale is Greg’s way of reeling me in. If Canadian Tire has taught me anything, it’s to never pay full price because eventually even owls will go on sale for 99% off and the last thing I want is to look like a fool with a regularly priced fake owl tucked under my arm.

I knew why Greg wanted an owl. At least, I hoped it was to keep birds from nesting under our deck and not to ward off evil spirits or to use as a secret piggy-bank and/or nanny-cam.

The kid in me didn’t want to scare away the birds but the home owner in me resented having to clean up the huge messes left behind every spring. The spy in me was really hoping for the nanny-cam option.

I walked into the hardware store and didn’t even pretend to know where to look. I asked the girl at the counter, “Do you have any owls?” as though this is something I say all the time.

Clerk: They’re in aisle 8 next to the eagles.

Of course they are. Eagles & Owls, Aisle number 8.

There were about 100 eagles in varying sizes on the top row but the owls were flying off the shelves (figuratively not literally) presumably because of the sale. In that moment, I felt a little sad for the fake eagles that weren’t going to be adopted any time soon.

What kind of a crazy person goes to a store to buy a fake eagle?

My fake owl and I had a lovely drive home.