My daughter attended a slumber party with a high degree of success.
I say high degree because she somehow managed to mash her sleeping bag back into its case and had just one sugar-related growth on her face.

We’ll chalk that up to a victory.

Despite me google-mapping the house before dropping her off, noticing the proximity to a pond and thinking, If I tell her, “Whatever you do, stay away from the pond,” will I just be planting a seed and then she’ll spend the entire party  saying, “Never mind the pinata! Let’s go check out the pond!”

I also included in the birthday girls’ gift, a package of decorative duct tape.

I actually said the following words to Hanna on our way to the party.
These words, in this order.

“Do you know if you were to put any of that duct tape over someone’s mouth they could suffocate and die?”

Yep, I did that.

So I spent the night wondering if the kids were duct taping each other to the embankment of a nearby pond when Greg informed me, “kids don’t sneak out of slumber parties when they’re ten.”

When I picked Hanna up, I asked her what they did.

“Oh, we snuck out of the house to play man-hunt outside but when we saw a coyote we went inside.”

Okay so my worries were unfounded, she was completely safe the entire time. Also, the duct tape might have come in handy during a coyote attack. The headline would read, “Smart Like a Fox–Local 10 Year Old duct-tapes a coyote to the side of a pond.”

I thanked the host mom, handed her a coffee and just before leaving she said, “Your daughter asked for some Melatonin before bed but I didn’t give her any.”

Right.

Hanna and her Mela..um…sorry, what?

I don’t want to sound like I think Melatonin is some type of watermelon, sunburn or skin cancer but, what did she ask for? Is my daughter a drug dealer?

Host: It’s a natural remedy to help with sleep.

And my kid asked for some?

What kind of twelve step program do they offer for that?

I sort of shrugged it off as we raced to the car (coyotes) but I asked Hanna in the van what on earth this woman was talking about.

Hanna: Yeah, one of the kids takes it to help her sleep so I wanted to try.

They say Melatonin is the gateway drug to Flintstones-vitamins.