Unfriendly Competition….

The girls have hit an all-time high (or low?) in the exciting world of sisterly competition.

This week alone, the girls have argued over whose braid was tighter, smoother, whose elastic at the end of the braid was twisted the greatest number of times, whose electric toothbrush while in the on position sounded more powerful, whose Triscuits had pointier corners, whose balloon had more air and who had more Cheerios in their bowls at breakfast. Correction, who had the most number of naturally connected Cheerios (not by using any human interference or outside products).

Last night however, things got just plain silly (as if they hadn’t already).

Hanna had lost her second tooth in as many weeks forcing Ellie to re-assess everything that was wrong with her approach to dental hygiene.

She’s heard me say, “If you don’t brush and floss your teeth really well after you eat treats, your teeth will fall out.”

Brilliant! When your teeth fall out you get money and Littlest Pet Shops under your pillow, how is that not a win-win? I don’t have to brush my teeth AND I am rewarded with cash and prizes.

I guess when I really think about it, it does put a damper on the whole brushing and flossing routine.

Ellie sobbed that Hanna would once again be rewarded for doing absolutely nothing while she anxiously awaited a loss of her own.

She became ruthless in her attacks on her sister and of the Tooth Fairy herself. Even suggesting the Tooth Fairy was someone’s parent (though, in her angry tirade, she was unable to specify whose parent exactly) leaving treats under kid’s pillows and maybe the Easter Bunny is just a person in a bunny costume because A REAL BUNNY WOULD JUST EAT ALL THE CANDY!!!! (I bet she heard that from the same kid who told her she was going to lay an egg out of her vagina).

Hanna rested, grinning in her bed while Ellie paced the halls with a pair of tweezers hoping to loosen things up.

“Hanna’s pillow is fluffier than mine!”

“Ellie’s tweezers are sharper!”

“Hanna’s tooth is sharper than my tweezers!”

Oh dear.

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