It Takes Two….

I’m assuming because I’m a parent, I can’t be the only one this has happened to, but twice in one day?

Yesterday, I happened to be engaged (not fully) in two separate conversations with Ellie and I completely tuned out. So much so, I had no idea when it was my turn to respond what the hell we were even talking about.

This has actually happened before and I’ve questioned how much noise must be going on in my brain if I can’t keep a simple exchange with a five year old on the level but it’s been happening more and more. Between Chloe asking for Pet Shops, peanut butter, an airplane ride and a bathing cap in one sentence, Hanna pausing and sometimes rewinding live t.v. so she can watch a show frame by frame looking for errors, sometimes Ellie’s lovingly incessant line of questioning is sadly set on the back burner.

When it happens in the car I can often talk my way out of an awkward moment.

When she asks, “Which one Mommy?” and I have no idea if she’s asked me “Do you prefer bananas or oranges?” or, “When you grow hair on your body is there more on your bum or under your arms?” I can sometimes get away with saying, “Well, I’m not sure I can answer that” or, “I’m sorry sweetie, the radio is pretty loud up here, can you repeat that last part?” Hoping she doesn’t just repeat the “Which one Mommy?” but actually includes the fruit or body categories.

The worst episode was yesterday when we were sitting together at the kitchen table working on a Paperoni craft, looking at each other in the eyes and Ellie asked, “Isn’t that funny?” and I thought, “What’s funny? Oh my God I have no idea what she’s been talking about?”

It turns out she thought it was funny that some t.v. show had vegetables the size of elephants that had to be moved by cranes. Why that didn’t hold my interest is anyone’s guess.

What got me was the crummy way I tried to weasel my way out of the conversation. My face turned red when I said, “that sure is funny” hoping she wouldn’t say, “Oh yeah? What? What’s so funny you lying bitch? You weren’t listening to a thing I’ve been saying about vegetables, body hair, songs for beginner violinists or how interesting (subjective) it is that ‘the’ and ‘the’ are spelled the same but can be pronounced differently.”

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