We have scolded the kids for asking one parent a question and then turning to the other when they are unhappy with the first parent’s answer.
Chloe at age two is still too young to fully understand this sneaky technique utilized by her crafty sisters (and siblings for thousands of years) when “no” simply won’t do.
In fairness to Greg, he was in the garage when Chloe asked me to paint her fingernails. Aside from just saying “no,” or, “I’m the boss of you,” I find myself having to come up with a three-fold persuasive argument to justify my answer otherwise she chews me up and spits me out like a Goldfish cracker in my mini-van.
- I can’t paint your nails right now because you aren’t able to sit still long enough to keep the polish from smearing all over both of our hands and the handles of the bathroom vanity.
- You pick the nail polish off of your fingers before it dries leaving globs of sparkly purple goo all over the furniture.
- You are two years old and nail polish is not appropriate for two year olds.
- Bonus: What happens if you require emergency surgery and that box that says, you must not have any nail polish on is marked “yes” and they won’t operate on you?
Enter Daddy.
Chloe: Daddy, will you polish my nails?
Unprepared, naive, doesn’t-know-I’ve-already-said-no Daddy: Sure squirt! Let’s go!
Off they go to the bathroom to select an array of colourful, soon-to-be-scrubbed-off-the-leather-couch polish.
I heard Greg making every effort to keep Chloe still while he painted. I even heard him turn on the hair dryer to speed up the process but something (as it often does) took a terrible turn. Like a dog being wounded having been hit by a car, the sound of the dryer made Chloe bolt down the hall streaking purple glitter the entire length of the hallway.
The moral of the story is, when your Mom says no, don’t ask your Dad because she will be the one driving him to the emergency room to have the foot from his ass removed.
Unfortunately, they won’t operate on him because the “Are you wearing nail polish?” box has been checked “yes.”
