Thank you for your mostly unsolicited advice on how to cure my daughter’s lingering ear infection.

Never shove a q-tip in to clean the area? Thanks, I had been squeezing the ends of the q-tip first to make them sharp, pointy, slightly damp and more likely to easily pop off inside her inner ear drum as I rammed it past the outer ear infection.

Have her lay on the couch to administer the drops so they will penetrate the infected area? This one is helpful given I wasn’t entirely sold on this whole gravity thing. Here I was having her jump in the air while I randomly shot the drops with a water gun (made entirely of q-tips) in the general direction of her head. It was tough to remember which of her ears was infected given my right side was opposite her left. Imagine my confusion.

Keep her out of the water you say? So the term “swimmers ear” wasn’t just a sporty name someone came up with?

Administer 12.5 mL of Advil every eight hours? Oh, so exactly what it says on the box, gotcha.

Look into the ear to spot any redness, irritation or blockages. Thank goodness someone suggested this. I had actually been using my hand as a shield running lengthwise along the side of my face every time I walked past her ear. This made cleaning the area with a q-tip an even bigger challenge but it sure beats wearing a blindfold.

Lots of rest. It will be a relief to not have to jump on the end of her bed while smashing pots and pans together every time she falls asleep.

My favourite was one of the directions on the package of wax ear plugs I had purchased should she be anywhere near water. It was one of several random suggestions in small print, for children 8 years old and under, “Not to be used with firearms.” Noted.