Our home was broken into on the weekend. This was a first for me and I am still unnerved by the situation, sorting through broken glass, missing pieces, holes in our system. I’m not quite ready to write about the experience and perhaps the world isn’t interested in reading about someone else’s misery. I for one would rather have a laugh or at the very least a crooked smile after reading someone’s post so for now, I plan to continue to keep things light.

Yes we have a sophisticated alarm system with motion detectors and door alarms. Yes they were rigged to work and no, they didn’t catch anyone with a fancy netting device like you see in cartoons. Our next stop is obviously the fire breathing dragon store. I’m just not sure if we’ll have to repaint the front door green so we don’t look too eclectic with the additional gargoyles rigged to explode if the UPS guy isn’t in his company assigned uniform. On an unrelated note, does one need a permit to shoot lasers across their yard? Is there a different form to fill out for urban vs. rural dwellings?

We decided immediately after calling 9-1-1 our family was together and all of us were safe. Stuff is stuff and it can all be replaced. Reading that back, it sounds a little Dr. Seuss-ish which was not my intent. So I’ll type and I’ll type and I’ll type and lament.

I’d rather focus my energies on what really matters. Through all of this, the girls managed to write a sentimental song about turtles and sang it to me while I attempted to smear some muddy boot prints on my carpet into a pattern that would set off the empty drawers.

To be sung to the tune of Amazing Grace (or hummed if you prefer to be in the back row of the chorus)

“There once was a turtle,

On the road.

It got hit by a car.

But it still survived.

We took care of it.

And we fixed it.

We fed it and it’s okay.”

Stuff can be replaced. Number one singles only come along once in a lifetime.