Ellie came home from school the other day a little down.

She suggested by missing a day of kindergarten last week due to having a fever, her friends at school had created new, secret handshakes, new games had been invented on the playground and a new vocabulary of words was swirling around her as though it was her first day at a brand new bilingual school with an emphasis on the new, mutant language.

In a way, it made her re-think the idea of ever faking illness so she could miss school. Clearly, she wasn’t concerned about the school curriculum, but the prospect of missing any social opportunities was enough to get her thinking about changing her exercise routine and tweaking her broccoli consumption so she could avoid ever missing another day.

Ellie: They talked about BFF’s and said they were all BFF’s and they had a BFF handshake. It went like this (holds her right hand to shake mine while saying the letters B F F).

What did I expect, they’re five?

Me: That sounds like you missed being at school but I’m sure you caught on to the handshake and letter chanting quickly.

Ellie: The worst part was I didn’t have anyone to play with at recess. Do you know what that means?

Me: No, what?

Ellie: It means I have to build an imaginary snowman husband.

I had no idea the alternative was so bleak.