I looked forward to my outing at the garden centre with Chloe. We went to look for inspiration, to absorb the smells of spring and to see how professional gardens vs. professional dandelion grow-ops should look.

The colours were extraordinary, Chloe enjoyed watching the waterfalls and we had a lovely chat on the way home where after being asked if she would like to help me fold the laundry, at nearly two and a half years old replied, “I guess it’s not the worst thing in the world.”

I opened the door to our house and the alarm was blaring. The voice over the loud speaker had me identify myself, confirm a series of codes, rub my stomach in a circular motion while tapping my head and finally, turned it off.

I was then told that the alarm had already sounded once today and the police had been to the house.

“Would you like us to dispatch them again?”

Um, YES! If the alarm is going off, I think that’s part of our arrangement. For future reference, here it is in writing, there is no need to confirm with me, this is a universal YES to dispatch police.

I called Greg who was at a meeting and explained the situation. He suggested Chloe and I search the house for signs of a break-in which I gave some serious consideration as we sat outside on the driveway and drew chalk pictures until the police arrived.

I had the officer tour the house checking all entry points, under beds, closets and other favourite hiding spots the kids had identified as being “too good for Mommy to ever look there.”

We both agreed there had been two false alarms–but why?

After a discussion with the alarm company tech while Chloe handed the officer several Winnie The Pooh books and pointed out various characters and predicaments each of them had found themselves tangled in, the tech on the phone concluded if there were no balloons floating around the house (WTF?!!!) then a spider could have set off the motion sensor if it had walked directly over the panel.

“Do you have a spider in your kitchen?”

Do I have a spider in my kitchen?

First let’s assume I do have a spider in my kitchen. Let’s call him Gonzo. Do you think Gonzo would still be sitting on the face of the motion sensor an hour and a half after the alarm had gone off? He probably hopped on one of the many balloons you think I have floating around my house and went for a joy ride as soon as the coast was clear.

I think next time I’d like to be the dispatcher, “Officer, an alarm has gone off for the second time today. We have the go ahead to proceed. We think we’re looking at a motion sensor failure involving a balloon. Suspect has eight legs.”