Chloe has been picking up a few key phrases and unacceptable words from her big sisters and I’m guessing from t.v. because it could not be from her parents who speak with impeccable grammar and wouldn’t dare accidentally drop a bomb.

Yesterday, Chloe asked where Ellie had gone and when I explained, “Ellie is downstairs in the freezer,” (she was frantically searching for yogurt tubes to impress a play date) Chloe replied, “Yeah, Ellie is a loser.” Freezer, I said freezer not loser and that is not a nice word.

The list is getting longer.

Chloe has noticed she gets a reaction from saying the word stupid so she’s made up a shorter version with the same meaning that serves that same purpose. The word is “stoop.” As in, “I don’t like that book it’s stoop,” or, Hanna won’t give me back my bike, she’s stoop,” or “stoop is as stoop does.” We know she means stupid and she knows she means stupid but without actually saying the word, it would be tough for a jury of her peers to find her guilty of anything other than messing with her stoop mother. And if I know two year old jurors, they lap this stuff up.

I’d like to say this one is rare but each and every time we enter the grocery store the following shocking question comes out of this cute little sidekick’s mouth, “Mommy did you fart?” I try to ignore her because I know if I react the way I did the first thirty-seven times she wins and I am abandoning a cart in front of the sushi display headed straight to the costume store to be sized for a wig and undercover glasses. When I don’t react, she follows with “Mommy, what do I smell?”

I really wish she’d stop doing this. It’s starting to make me look stoop.