The UPS guy just arrived with my parcel according to plan.

He rang the doorbell, but before I could get to the door, was already half way to Tim Horton’s. I knew what it was.

My envelope had arrived—Pinkalicious!

Allow me to rewind a couple of days.

Chloe has been enjoying a book series for kids called Pinkalicious. I think it was Hanna’s set originally, then Ellie read them and continues to read them to her baby sister and now it seems Pinkalicious is at the top of Chloe’s request list when it comes to naptime and bedtime reading.

I thought her interest in reading Pinkalicious would give me a great opportunity to take her to the library to borrow any and all books in the series so we could Read! Read! Read! While introducing her to the exciting (and much cheaper than Chapters) world of book learnin’.

There were NO Pinkalicious books on hand at our local library–conspiracy? This only added to the excitement. Books were ordered we would wait for “the call” and when they finally arrived, we would hop in the car with nothing but our library card and a couple of bucks should there be any outstanding late fees and/or warrants  we hadn’t considered.

The excitement had sort of worn off for Chloe. Perhaps at two, she had both forgotten what we were doing and what a library was. She likely also forgot we read books before bed.

We approached the counter and Chloe very quietly said, “Pinkalicious” and magically, our local librarian returned with three Pinkalicious books. Chloe hugged them tightly to her body and was fairly certain, okay, she was totally certain these were hers to keep and smiled at the kind gift the stranger behind the desk had just presented to her. How could she have known?

The librarian commented that these books appeared to be brand new and that Chloe would be the first to read them. (And the last but neither of us would be aware of this yet).

Chloe and I discussed the nice lady at the library, the idea of “borrowing” how we must go to great lengths to take care of these books that DO NOT BELONG TO US. We talked about the mountains  we would climb, the valleys we would—you get the idea, to protect the books from spills and page wrinkling. How we would pile them neatly in a stack andstack them neatly in a pile separate from the other thousand or so books we had at home because these particular Pinkaliciouses were next to Godliciousness

Chloe agreed and we proceeded to her rocking chair.

The first book was about Pinkalicious visiting a pink pumpkin farm. An instant classic, we read it four more times.

The second was about Pinkalicious having a princess slumber party. While equally engaging, it was the pink pumpkin that had Chloe rocking her chair into the drywall so once more through the pumpkin patch.

When it was time for bed, I placed Chloe in her crib and over-emphasized the drama of how careful I was going to set the new books down so she could read to herself, review the pictures and give the inconceivable idea of a pink pumpkin some serious thought.

I waited in the family room for Chloe to fall asleep at which time I would retrieve the books and set them on the ottoman in front of her rocking chair so there would be no chance she could crinkle, crumple or puke up any pumpkin seeds while she rested.

Chloe called to me. I ignored her. I assumed it was to tell me all about the pumpkin farm, Pinkalicious, borrowing, the library and the slumber party. I paid no attention.

She called a second time. Alright, I knew she was excited and wanted to recap with her newly formed book club but I had to be strong and let her know it was time to rest.

A few minutes passed and I couldn’t hear her. She had fallen asleep successfully and I could sneak in and remove the books.

The problem was the books had already been removed–at least, portions of them.

I saw a princess in a sleeping bag in a wrinkled ball on one side of the room and a beheaded Pinkalicious holding part of a pink wand on another.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This. Was. Bad.

I wasn’t going to wake Chloe up and I wasn’t going to clean up the mess so I waited until she woke from her nap.

When I heard her stir I raced down the hall.

“Chloe, what happened to Pinkalicious?”

Chloe: Chloe ripped it.

Me: Yes, I see Chloe ripped it. What are we going to do?

Chloe: We are going to read Pinkalicious

Me: No we are not going to read Pinkalicious. Pinkalicious is dead. What did you do?

Chloe: Chloe ripped it. Chloe ripped Pinkalicious.

Thanks Rain Man. I guess I was expecting remorse.

I collected the other books, drove them back to the library and placed them in the return slot. I told Chloe if we can’t take care of library books then we wouldn’t be able to borrow them anymore.

She was totally unfazed by the incident and was much more excited about the fact I had tic-tacs in the slot on my dashboard.

They weren’t even pink.