Toy Mountain….

The family room toy basket clean-up was well underway and I had an eager helper. We had a recycling pile, a garbage pile a giveaway pile and four baskets. One for each of the children and one reserved for Barbie, her accessories, pets and everything Barbie requires to get her convertible, disco, physiotherapy studio, botox briefcase and seventeen dogs to the beach for a picnic.

We were chugging along until Ellie decided to fight to hold onto toys the girls haven’t played with in years. I knew I should have borrowed a dumpster and cleared everything out while they slept.

Maybe it was the conversation about donating all of her birthday toys to homeless kids.

Ellie: Where would they put my birthday toys if they don’t have a house? At least we have a house.

Point taken.

Or maybe it was my suggestion that instead of birthday presents at her party, she could instead select a needy family out of the Oxfam catalogue and send a sheep their way. Happy fifth birthday Ellie! Baaaah.

She held onto a plastic set of three little pigs from a McDonald’s happy meal. This one had re-gift written all over it. When she flicked the switch to on, a heavy, German accent repeated the following; “Pooty Poo, Pooty Poo, Yah, Yah.”

From the bottom of the garbage bag, I could hear the “yah, yah” and kicking the bag did nothing to stop the death cry from the three little pigs. The Big Bad Wolf had come to life and Ellie looked at me as though I had teeth the size of Grandma’s.

Ellie sobbing: Why can’t you just let a human live!

The pigs are neither human nor alive and one day, she’ll be a great spokesperson for PETA with her new found disdain for chicken wing eaters and now her abysmal attempt at throwing herself on a soft plastic bag filled with hard plastic toys to save a trio of German pigs in sailor’s suits from an impatient mother but she has a little work to do on the general rhetoric.

I suggested it was time we added Pooty Poo to the plastic bin destined for the dump and she fought snout and tail to save him.

It wasn’t about the pigs it was the baby steps I was trying to take to sift through toy mountain and those plastic pigs represented everything that is wrong with this world; fast food and toys that keep talking with creepy voices long after you’ve left the room.

photos are a likeness………that is a lie, they are real

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *