Outburst….

My five year old found a board game she hadn’t yet mastered today. It was tucked away behind a basket of remotes, all of which were functional at some point in the recent past, none of which we could pair up with an appliance and make work. For now, they will continue to rest quietly in the “we don’t know what these are for” basket until like so many other things around this house, enough time will pass and they will quietly disappear.

The game is Outburst and while there may be a version meant for children, this wasn’t it.

Frustrations grew quickly (on both sides). Ellie wanted to insert a card with a Top 10 list printed on it and have me guess the answers based on the category.

There were so many problems with this arrangement. For starters, she can’t read so she spells each word in the title aloud, “t-o-p-t-e-n-J-o-h-n-‘-s, What does that spell?

Me: Top 10 John’s

Ellie: Okay Mommy (looking in the distance as if she has her eye on a clock and knows how to tell time)—Go.!

There was no timer. She added her own sense of urgency for drama.

Me: John Travolta?

Ellie: How do you spell that?

Me: T-R-A

Interrupting Cow: No. None of them start with T, they all start with J except one that starts with H.

Me: Do they all start with J as in John?

Ellie: How do you spell that?

Me: J-O-H-N

Ellie: Wait, let me check.

Sipping my tea.

Ellie: Yes, except one starts H-U-G-H

It ended up being Hugh Grant. With this complex reading exercise, it didn’t seem the right time to spell out Hugh Grant’s prostitution bust and why he would be considered one of the top 10 Johns.
 

She had me convinced John Travolta had not made the list until it was time to call it quits and I looked over the card. He was answer number one.

Next up, my worthy opponent was assigned Top 10 sugary cereals

What are ten cereals Ellie has never heard of?

Her next turn, I found “10 bad things kids bring home from school” thinking this would be doable for a child so eager to play a grown-up game. I thought she might come up with a few correct answers on her own and the rest, I could give her subtle hints. When I reviewed; lice, germs, a bad report card, swear words, I figured we would get through this one without incident.

Among other things, Ellie guessed, “poop filled backpack,” “someone else’s used toilet paper” and “dead cat.”

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