We’ve been hearing a lot lately about two parenting styles; helicopter parenting and tiger parenting.

Helicopter parents hover just above the action, following closely behind their children, paying attention to each and every detail, never giving themselves any time to relax and enjoy a ruby red with tonic and freshly squeezed lime juice.

Tiger parenting, a term I heard only recently, describes a parenting style in which Mom or Dad (or both) push their children beyond what some might view as reasonable limits, in areas like academia, music, sports. I almost see this as a tough love approach, there are no cuddly moments or time for creative play, more a regimented routine driven by extreme focus with high expectations for success, not unlike my first soccer coach who wanted those daisies picked and as many cartwheels as I could windmill my way through a game. There is time for ruby red but the child/server has an advanced degree in mixology and grew the limes in a home grown hydroponics experiment.

There’s another type of parent we’ve all encountered who until now has remained nameless. Let me be the first to introduce the Snapping Turtle Parent.

Snapping Turtle parents move slowly because they’ve been beaten down by screaming children, dragging them from one activity to another, none of which seem to bring the slightest bit of happiness to any of them. When pressed, they stick their necks out well beyond the realm of what would be perceived as possible and snap their jaws at their kids, almost always in public and in a way that borders excessive violence causing onlookers to stare at their shoes or give their own kids an extra, adoring squeeze.

S T’s live in warm conditions like overheated waiting areas and can almost always be found in swimming lesson change rooms where the humidity exceeds oxygen and wet children, (their fiercest enemy) are no match for the parent who is carrying the weight of the world on their backs.

Other parents feel better about their own approach to raising children when in the presence of Snapping Turtle parents whether they are helicopter parents, tigers or jet-setting-safari-humpback parents.

Snapping Turtle parents take the time to drink ruby reds, often with a flask in their bags, shells and in extreme cases, glove compartments, but not for enjoyment, it’s simply meant to keep them awake and to fuel their rage.