Hanna was stalling last night, trying to keep me in her room a little longer than usual knowing if we were reading, chances were better I’d stick around to cuddle for a few extra chapters rather than if she wanted to pull things out of drawers or worse, have me teach her how to apply make-up. At some point, I’m just going to have to learn.

Last night her tactic worked. She said, “Mommy, I have something to tell you but it’s really bad.”

My interest had been piqued.

Hanna: No, I can’t tell you. It’s too bad. You’ll get mad.

I was all ears.

Hanna (voice shaking): Something happened at school.

I thought she was making up a story to keep me in her room but I looked her in the eyes and told her she could tell me anything.

A few more, “no, no, no I can’t tell you’s”, and just when I motioned to leave the room she caved.

Hanna: A girl in my class wrote a bad word.

Me: Oh dear. What did it start with?

Hanna: Oh gosh (head now buried in her pillow). It started with an….with an……an…..s.

Shit I thought to myself. Where do they hear these things?

Me: Okay. What was the next letter?

Hanna: u

Hmmm. Suck?

Me: Then what?

Hanna cheeks bright red, squealing: the word was sunofabitch.

Me: Gee, that does sound like a bad word.

Ellie eavesdropping: Some-on-my-vest? Someonmyvest Hanna? Some? Onmyvest? That’s not a bad word. She laughed herself silly.

Earlier, we had received a call from Hanna’s music teacher informing us she was sick and would have to schedule a make-up day, yet to be determined.

When I relayed the message to the girls about Hanna’s poor music teacher falling ill and that there would be a make-up day sometime in the future, Hanna’s eyes lit up while Ellie’s bugged out of her head.

Ellie: WHY DOES HANNA GET TO PUT ON MAKE-UP?!!!!

Someonmyvest, I’m going to have to get this make-up thing figured out.