Now in addition to writing a book, I have to come up with a tightly written, non-cheeky letter (the literary agents all stress they aren’t interested in cutesie gimmicks which just so happen to be the only way I know how to write).I want to talk to them about the fact I was my high school volleyball co-captain. “Co”, because the girl with the athletic ability wore the “C” on her jersey but I had a unique ability to communicate with my peers through a series of jokes while riding the pine, keeping things light during some intense matches.
I want to write about my former co-workers at my first job selling advertising. Paul, who had some form of tourette’s syndrome when after every sentence he would utter the words, “please, okay? please.” A conversation with him would go something like this.
“Good morning Paul.”
“Good morning. Please…okay? please.”
I would write about Karl, who rather than saying it wasn’t his “cup of tea” would say it wasn’t his “cup of meat.”
I would write about Jeff who brought in a tray of four extra large, triple-triple coffees for himself every morning and have them drunk by 10am. He also thought that everyone over the age of twenty-five was automatically grandfathered free automobile insurance and learned that wasn’t the case when at twenty-six, he smashed his girlfriend’s fathers car into a pole. Of course, I would have to mention Raj and the pods……Raj and his sex club and the scandal that ensued.