Now here’s a weight loss product that really has some teeth.
I was reading an article about SmartBite at the hair salon in a popular health magazine.
It claimed the following; SmartBite is some sort of mouth guard not unlike a “grade school retainer” inserted into your mouth to “change how you eat, not what you eat.”
Hmmmm
Change how you eat. In other words, make eating so incredibly painful or uncomfortable, you don’t want to do it anymore, thus, dramatically losing weight? Does SmartBite rest against your gag reflex? Or, do you simply find new ways to eat, for example, liquefying your foods thus spiking straw sales and removing the pleasurable part of eating from the table. Change how you eat. I guess eating the way we have for generations is simply no longer working. Perhaps products like these would encourage you to snort your food instead since your mouth is filled with some sort of guard.
For a mere $495, SmartBite can be yours. At least the price is right.
I’m picturing women out on a first date and subtly sliding in their retainers to keep them from eating too quickly or “wolfing” down food as the website suggests. I think the wolf image is a good one because I’m imagining a jaw lengthening device made from gnarled metal and plastic making your mouth rather unsavoury.
I’m not sure how much it costs to have ones jaw wired shut but wouldn’t that be equally as effective and likely less expensive?
“Your efforts to lose weight have failed because (this is unbelievable) you like to eat.” I thought food was one of the basic necessities required to live. Of course we like it. The same way we like having a roof over our heads and clothing. Is this product suggesting you will lose weight if we make you stop liking food? Why would anyone sign up to stop liking food?
“SmartBite is yours to keep with no maintenance or ongoing costs.”
That is a relief. I was worried when the last person returned it due to the absurdity of the product it got thrown into a bin and sold to me.
On a positive note, it is Canadian. Something we can truly be proud of.
