After taking car-seat baby in for her one year check-up the other day, it occurred to me the Doctor didn’t have time to go over her growth chart. It occurred to me because inquiring minds seem to want to know where my one year old ranks in relation to their same age child.

I know this information was of the utmost importance seven years ago with our first. I shouted from the roof tops that she was off the charts for weight and height. Head circumference didn’t seem to have quite the same hip-hip-hooray effect one might expect so I often left that one out of my report. I created an excel spread-sheet documenting her growth, included hair and nail clippings, laminated the whole thing planning for a future shadow box.

What other measurable data did we have to tell family, friends and complete strangers that our kid was better than theirs with quantifiable proof?

Those details quickly stopped being important when we had our second. While Hanna was still off the charts, at some point, having the heaviest kid with the abnormally long torso stops being something to brag about so those details slipped down the list of importance.

While at our aqua-fit class this week, one of the mothers asked me if Chloe’s molars had come in yet and what coping mechanisms we were using to help her get through such a painful time.

Ummm, that would require me looking in her mouth right? She was so obviously a first time mother.

I have no idea when her molars came in or if they have at all but it got me thinking, at the very least, I should know her measurements.

Relying solely on memory, keeping in mind Ellie’s questions about brain injuries, hockey players dying after being repeatedly concussed and the stamp and sticker drawer with far too many options for any child to not become completely engrossed in examining the pattern on each and every one, here is what I think I remember about the baby.

Head size—when I converted from cm’s to inches, keeping in mind this was a U.S. chart I was referencing, it would seem her head is in the 5^th percentile. Perhaps this is an area for concern or even hospitalization and yet, I have been known to shop in the children’s hat section as an adult (almost exclusively) so maybe the rest of the world is seeing something we don’t (or can’t because of our insanely small craniums).

Weight—this one I remember. She was 21.5 lbs. I have no idea where that puts her in relation to other babies. I do know after five minutes of holding her, I have to switch arms.

Height—again from memory. I saw the baby squirm on the cold, wax papered cot, the nurse scratched a pen mark at her head, the baby moved several times like an inch worm, quickly creeping her feet towards her bum and the nurse marked where the baby’s foot probably should have been had she been following the strict measurement guidelines she had studied prior to our visit but because of the brain questions became completely distracted. She may or may not be in the 50^th percentile for height.

For everyone who has asked, small brain, five minutes per arm for weight, squirmy height, possible molars.