Dumbrella….

Round two of Mommy and Me Water Aerobics was today and I had the added bonus of trekking through a rainstorm en route to the rec centre and also on my return to the van after class.

Parking within fifty metres of the front door makes things breezy on a warm, dry day but nearly impossible (Ellie and Hanna’s voices saying, “nothing’s impossible Mommy”) on a dreary wet one.

I exit the van, umbrella in hand, pop open umbrella, wind inverts it, remind myself to stop buying umbrellas from liquidation stores, open the trunk, wind pulls my umbrella-arm out of socket, umbrella windmills to the ground behind, wince, pull stroller out with one hand as other is now too sore to assist, close trunk, soaked through two layers as is the stroller, arm pops back into place, push stroller with chest, drag useless piece of crap umbrella upside down on the ground, approach side door, determine if parked too close to neighbour to accommodate open door as well as stroller, barely, slide side door open to disembark giggling, kicking baby enjoying my wet frustration, load her into stroller, close side door, open passenger door to retrieve backpack, water no longer absorbing, just running off my head, sweatshirt, watch, continue pushing stroller with chest while swinging backpack wildly onto back, forgot quarter for locker, a good start.

We enter the family change room because it offers luxurious suites also known as CCC’s (cold, cement cubbies) to change privately.

Decorated with a bar should you require assistance, two metal hooks and a wooden bench whose width exactly mimics that of a balance beam. The stroller can be wheeled in but does not allow a parent to accompany the child sitting in the stroller if you have any interest in closing the door that opens inward, much like the family change rooms at Winners.

If I angle things just right, I can crawl under the door and stand on the bench while changing the baby into her little swimmer and suit provided I don’t bend my knees while in naked-standing-toe-touching pose or Olympic racing stance, without the goggles.

I then get to change into my own suit after pushing Chloe into the main staging area, leaving the door open for a peep show for the two men pretending to work on fixing something in the bathroom stall directly in front of me.

Look out second step! Prepare to be diapercized.

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