We have had great success with bike riding this summer and I couldn’t be happier. Our biggest concern now is fastening our four year olds’ helmet without being deafened by her shrieks when we accidentally pinch the skin under her chin in the clasp.
The yelping is merely a first response to a lengthy puppy whimpering campaign of moaning, groaning and general distaste for whoever was responsible for inflicting the most painful injury she has experienced to date.
First Daddy pinched her and was forbidden to EVER do up her helmet for at least a month. She would approach a random person on the street before letting him go near her and would run when he motioned to quickly grab the two pieces that when separated, hang innocently from her ears but together, transform into a painful weapon.
Then yesterday, I pinched her. She shifted from side to side crossing her fingers begging, “please don’t pinch, don’t pinch, don’t pinch, don’t pinch” chanting the entire time I was gearing up to close the clasp.
I thought I had room, I thought her finger in the way was proof there was at least a finger thickness of breathing room, an Adam’s apple size space surrounding her neck but I was dead wrong and I have heard about nothing else since.
“Ellie, please come to the table for dinner.”
Hands wrapped around her neck as though without the mittens of her fingers, gripping a Cinderella ice pack, she would be unable to walk. “I’ll come but my neck really hurts so I’m not sure I’ll be able to eat. It hurts my neck to swallow.”
“Ellie, it’s time for a bath.”
“Okay, but don’t get my neck wet, it will hurt too much.” Yes that sudsy warm water can be brutal.
“Ellie, time for p.j.’s”
“Do we have any with buttons because I don’t think I can pull anything over my head in case my neck moves where you pinched it with my helmet?” Oh right the helmet incident, I had forgotten.
“What stories are we reading tonight?” I ask.
“I hope it’s not something about a sore neck because that would just make me sadder.”
“Let’s brush our teeth.”
“Okay, but I can only brush in the front because I can’t turn my neck………..” Yes, because of the injury.
“Can I sleep on my back all night because when I sleep on my side, my sore neck scrapes against the pillow?” Oh dear, what part bothers your neck injury most, the angora wool side or the 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton side?
Daddy is back to being helmet hero and brace yourself, I have been placed on the need not apply list.